I know you probably won't have changed much in the intervening years. But hopefully you got your shitty life back on track, and became a self sustained individual. Hopefully you have made and maintained a few meaningful relationships and are not living in total loneliness and despair. Maybe your dream of the Apple Pie life is even within reach, but I highly doubt that- and here is my advice for you.
When the time comes when you think you are ready to hurt another girl. Stop. Think. Plan. Ask yourself if you foresee a future with said girl. Do you see yourself treating her better than anyone else. Do you believe you are worthy of her. Are you able to be responsible and provide for her. Are you able to give her everything she asks for. Are you able to give up everything for her. Will you be able to forge a bond with her that can weather all hardship and stand the test of time. Do you see yourself staying faithful. If she asks you to change, will you be able to do it for her?
If the answer to any of those questions is a no, I want you to slap yourself, and let the girl go free. You don't deserve her. She doesn't need your stupidity, foolishness and neglect. She doesn't need all the tears and misery you will bring her. It is getting late in life. No one will put up with your bullshit. If all you have your paltry "I love you", don't even think about love. Your affection won't hold up to a hungry stomach, a life of hard work. Hell, even your affection won't hold for long- you will neglect her and mistreat her eventually.
But if you say you have changed. If you are successful. If you know you can make her happy forever, then I am sorry for everything I have said. Then I hope you seize the opportunity for happiness and share the fruit of joy with another special person.
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