New cycle.

One of the most common truths of life is that we all take for granted things that simply are.
Whether a spouse, a friend, a family, or a home, after enough time has passed, that person, place, or situation becomes the accepted norm in our lives.

It is not until we confront the unexpected, not until the normal is no more, that we truly come to appreciate what once we had.

I have said this, I have known this, I have felt it so many times.

Death and Life.
With each cycle, my understanding and appreciation of my loved ones grow.
And so too, does my despair.

The ending and beginning of each cycle is a period of tumultuous confusion.
But each and every time there is a promise, frozen in time.
Promise that things will stay the same between us, that the shared experiences, emotions and memories will always remain unchanged, always ours.
The passage of time deludes us all. The perception of time deludes us all.
Perception is biased, and differs from one person to the next.What you value most about a memory, may be completely forgotten by the others.

I find myself off balance again, as another cycle of my life begins.
The threads of fate slip between my fingers.
I cannot catch them, cannot sort through their intertwined bodies.
As the old cycle ends, and the new one begins, time diminishes.
Every moment crystallizes into one of importance.
The colors become more vivid, the sounds more acute and meaningful and pleasurable, the friendships more endearing.

The shattering of the normal routine, brings life back, so paradoxically, considering the catalyst is after all,
the imminence of death.
But though I have experienced this, have become seasoned, I cannot prepare.
For who can prepare for death?

Like a drowning man I cling to the past.
I long for times past, for the status quo.
To brace myself in the past, in long lost memories, for the comfort of the familiar.
But the passage of time moves ever onward, and I am but a child in its currents.


As the memories fade away, new ones come to take their place.
Before it all disappears, I say good bye, and make another promise.
Like I have before.
This time it will be better, this time I will love and cherish those dear to me, to write a new chapter better than the ones I have lived before.
And because it has gotten slightly better with each cycle
I will believe.
To live life, is to have hope.